Children often aren’t aware of their ability to solve problems. When they come to you with a problem:
- Match their posture. If they are sitting, sit down with them. If they are standing, stand, too.
- Let them talk. Encourage your children to describe their problem/s and possible solutions.
- Restate what you’re hearing, using at least some of your childrens' words. But don’t repeat word for word.
- Stay calm and let your children know if you need some time to think. Wait until you can talk with a neutral, open attitude.
- Be sure your children are ready to talk. If they are too upset to talk about the problem, wait. Let them know you’re ready to hear them out when they're ready to talk. It may take a few minutes or it could take a few days.
- Be patient through the silences. Problem-solving takes time. Children need more time than adults to sort through their thoughts.
- You might have to do some gentle prompting to help them discover the solutions for themselves. For example, a prompt of, "Could you change your schedule to get more homework done?" could help them determine the solution of "I could study right after school."
When your children come up a solution and/or are invloved in the process, they will be more willing to act on it. And, they will be more confident they can solve the next problem they face.
Source: The Parent Institute